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Cutting to cope with rape?

I was drunk and my ex raped me. This happed last year (2009) and did not really effect me. Just a tear and went on with life. I never told anyone and pretened never happened to me. Now, it made me and I can not deal with it. Every time I think of him .. I have a panic attack. I used to self harm, but stopped for 1 year. After what happened I started cutting again and idk what I can do I have 19. Im not feel nothing! I do not feel anything at all.

How awful for you! Tragic events often turn against the people – this is part of post-traumatic stress syndrome Disorder (PTSD). Ur mind probably closed at the moment. Regardless of whether a person is dead sober or drunk, rape is never acceptable. Now u feel as if ur body has been violated and you probably feel like u ur mind has been raped a. I could tell u to run to the police, report it, etc, but ur in no state of mind to do that. Can u talk to an older relative, an aunt, sister or a trusted teacher or friend? Talking is the 1st step towards healing, which really is. If u do not know anyone, or do not trust anyone, please call an organization such as Lifeline – I know u probably will not. But I have dreamed in the past and really r good to talk and confidential. If u do not want to do that, please go see a doctor and get at least some antidepressants to start. If u sit around a depression, and do not share this problem, or will be too introverted and will not be able to deal with it later. And ur too young at 19 to Urself court. I urge u to see a woman at least the doctor (a sympathetic if u can find one!). Can u talk to ur mom? Parents often fail to understand about these things if that is why u need to see a neutral person. Talk to your doctor Lifeline and one at least. U r too young to have all these concerns. To see someone as soon as possible and if u can not leave to worry at least write it all down and going out. Exercise can help too – which is part of ur anger. Call Lifeline today. Hope some of this aid.

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